SPB.N News – Online Desk: Question : I am a 29-year-old and got married last year. I live with my mother-in-law and 33-year-old divorced sister-in-law. The problem is that my sister-in-law is too much pampered and doesn’t help in household work at all. I am a working professional and manage everything at home alone but I am never appreciated for it. I feel she is jealous of me in every aspect, and she is also quite rude.

And if I try to correct or explain her something, then I am told the story of her broken marriage and am asked to keep my mouth shut. In fact, my mother-in-law is also partial towards her and this entire situation is affecting my relationship with my husband too. I am really upset with all this, please help. – By Anonymous

Answer by Sharanya Thyagarajan : It is great to see that you’ve chosen to seek professional help. It is a very difficult situation that you’re trying to manage around, and handling all the household responsibilities single-handedly would be surely physically and mentally draining.

There certainly seems to be a problem with communication pattern here. Certain things are spoken about and yet missed out, and on the other hand, there are things that are noticed but aren’t spoken about. If you find these situations affecting your relationship with your husband, tell him the concerns that are affecting you both. Ask him to be in your shoes and understand your situation. Do tell him what all you do every day and how the workload is divided amongst other members of the family. Discuss the issue positively with your husband and try to find a solution to it.

You can also ask your husband to discuss with your mother-in-law how the household chores can be equally distributed. Try not to be influenced by the negativity around you, and preserve and nurture the relationship that you have with your husband.

Sharanya Thyagarajan is a Counselling Psychologist at Fortis Hospital, Bangalore.

Times of India